Steel Guitar for Everyone--Introduction

Why buy this book? ‘Cause they ain’t nuttin’ else out there like it. I recently seen the movie Julie & Julia, ‘cause I love cookin’ and respect Julia Child as a cook and a teacher. When I saw Amy Adams as Julie Powell doing a one-year experiment to cook thru Mastering the Art of French Cooking and blog abt it, I thought, “Why the fuck can’t I do a one year experiment of some sort and write abt it?” I didn’t really think the f word; that’s just to spice this up. Then I seen a book abt another guy who wanted sth to write about and so read every word of the O flippin’ ED—21, 000 or some pages and wrote abt that, and I thought….

So I had this steel guitar what I bought on Amazon, right? I started out trying to learn it abt 1 hr/day, but it quickly degenerated down to 15 min. every few days. Every time I hear good steel guitar or read or see sbdy doing sth great on celluloid or in print, I get encouraged to pull my otherwise channel-surfing-trying-to-avoid-staring-at-the-porno/cheesecake-shows butt up to my already-set-up-and-ready-to play-got-no-real-excuse-not-to-play steel guitar. I don’t really use the lame-ass excuse that there aren’t any good materials for learning nonpedal C6 steel guitar, ‘cause I know I could do it without good materials if I really wanted to. Still, I saw a niche for a book.

Why do I have so much time to channel surf, you ask? Thanks for axing. I’m unemployed. And I have sth else in my life that there ain’t nuttin’ else like: I’m in the middle of an international divorce. My life is too flippin’ easy right now ‘cause I don’t have to parent my four-year old, Ricky. My borderline personality disorder Polish wife kicked me out, and I had to come back home to Arizona. Is she really BPD? I don’t know. Guess I have to read (or write) a book abt that. The things in life that are not described between the leaves of books are where most of us live.

By this time, this introduction has taken a decidedly undecided turn, n’est pas? I really did start out to write the unwritten bk abt learning steel guitar. But here is a third bk I ken write abt, just having stumbled onto the idea for one. Like learning steel guitar, there aren’t any books out there on international divorce. Lots o’ books on divorce, true, but none of the intl. variety. Too big a subject, I guess. Unhelped by International Divorce for Dummies, every night when I head to the shower, I start to pray ‘cause a whole day has passed and I have nothing to show for it. I’m still here and he’s back in Poland and all I can do is talk to him on the phone, though I’m trying to get a voice chat messenger thing up.

Ricky was here too. Man,was that a miracle! Let my people go, Pharaoh!—and the bitch did. See, my business in Poland crashed last year. And Vie—I’ll nickname my wife Violet that ‘cause she’s so fucking contentious—borrowed money for me to leave, tho she wouldn’t lend me money to stay. But I wasn’t going to come here to Arizona unless it was with r—lower-case letter R/r now stands for Ricky. It’s too long to describe how I wouldn’t let her buy me a ticket and her violent freak-out sessions. I’ll describe it if’n ye ax fer it. But finally she agreed for him to come w/ me for a month; then I would fly back to Pol. w/ him—he’s too young to fly alone.

We did come here, and we stayed w/ my best friend. I’ll tell you abt it next entry. Now I gotta go either surf or play steel guitar.